I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
