Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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