That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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