theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
