i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
