If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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