remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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