i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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