I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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