Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
as a side note pls kill me
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