And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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