He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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