Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
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Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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