someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
