I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
