you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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