You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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