Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
