you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
