No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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