He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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