Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
