That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
