That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
