u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize