Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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