thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
