just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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