he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
