Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
