can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You are the jesus of drinking
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
