If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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