It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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