so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
