My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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