and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
