i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize