Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
