The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
one might say we're banned from that church
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize