you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Drunk is not a location!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
