hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she looked like the before picture.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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