Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it was like eating out sand paper
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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