Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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