You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
