Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
