I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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