Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
