I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize