hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
