I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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