just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
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They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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