I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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