is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
