I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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