There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
