Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
