Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
