i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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