The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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