omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
