I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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