yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
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UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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